Artist Equality and a Creative Brainstorm

My partner for the MC and animation in Taiwan wrote to ask me what I thought about the fee that was offered to him.  Where do I begin?  Obviously, the National theater has been hacking away at the budget like a samurai warrior over the last four months and based on the cuts I have seen, the fee he’s getting for 10 days of work plus an extra week and a half of per diems and hotel is a great deal.  Since his transportation is covered as well, it is like one a hell of a paid vacation to Asia; after he could go to the Philippines or Vietnam or Laos and live like a king for 10 bucks a day!

In fact, the rate he is getting is better than the one I am getting because of the cuts we had to make to ensure that the artists got paid what they deserve.  He was also part of the festival last year in Taipei, so he surely remembers the shit salary we got paid last year under the previous producer.  That set a huge precedent for this festival and we are making it a priority to change this perception that good artists will keep coming to Asia for crap pay.  The Rocker told the Taiwanese company that they need to find a way to pay everyone in an equal manner because he knows that everyone talks to each other – it’s normal!

As for the work that we’ll be doing together, is going to be pretty relaxed and we’ll be in charge of everything we do.  There might be some small constraints, but really the goal is just to amuse ourselves and the public as much as possible.  The first order of business is to come up with a name for our comic trio.  The following list is the result of 30 minutes of brainstorming with no editing whatsoever the ones I starred are my favorites; maybe there is a seed of something here:

  • The Welcome Wagon
  • Small, Medium and Large.
  • Do You Want Fries With That?
  • The Small Fries.
  • The People’s Liberation Army of Taiwan.
  • *The Spanish Flies
  • Grosso Modo
  • Hyperbole
  • The Homeless, Limbless, Iraqi Civilians
  • The United Nations
  • The Department of International Affairs
  • Nanoeconomists
  • The Best Comedy Act in the World (No Refunds)
  • If You Don’t Watch Our Show We Will Take Your Firstborn
  • The Loudest Mimes.
  • Giant Midgets
  • *Tiny Giants
  • *Missing In Action
  • Three Clowns Looking for a Joke
  • Lost in Translation
  • *Translate This!
  • The Dead Translator.
  • The Dead Chickens
  • The Fastest Chickens in the East
  • Carte Blanche
  • Blank Check
  • Credit Limit
  • *The Nothing Doings
  • The Do Nothings
  • *The Dead Lines
  • Semper Fi
  • Cuba Libre
  • Lost in Taiwan
  • The Know-Nothings
  • Cirque Du Soleil Stabbed Us In the Ass (But We Kept The Knife)
  • Taiwan Tea Party
    Bubble Tea Bandits
  • Painful Drawn-Out Post-Modern Theatrical Crap

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