Still no internet at our place.  Very frustrating.  It might be as long as two weeks.  But basically, I have been trying to go around Tokyo to tie up these ends with respect to The Rocker’s project to see if there is any way to get a Taiwanese show to Japan.  Unfortunately, I am losing steam.  so many meetings, I keep thinking I am making progress, and it seems that I keep running and running and not getting anywhere.

Things are so long and complicated, but I hope that by concentrating on the business side of this project I will learn how to put it all together for my own works in the future.

I am realizing that you really need a strong portfolio to get your own shows made, and The Rocker’s previous work and reputation helps lot with this.

I’m still training and my equilibre is getting better every day, but unfortunately, there are not many opportunities to perform in Japan…  yet.  If all goes according to plan, there will be a renaissance of sorts here in terms of the local acrobatic talent.  There are so many talented performers here, but no locally produced shows that can use them!

It is frustrating.  I was willing to give myself one month of income-free efforts to develop a project, but this is getting ridiculous.  No one will give me a definite answer, so I am completely in the dark.

I guess I’ll be here until around mid-January, but then I need to find something until March when I go back to Taiwan to make the show.

In the meantime, on the personal front, I’m trying not to get depressed about my long-distance relationship with The Contortionist.  I tell myself that things just happen the way they happen, and it is fruitless to try and control them.

All three of us refugees trying to make it in Tokyo for a few months are feeling the pressure of an approaching end.  When they go back to Lithuania depends largely on when their working contracts end here.  For me, it depends on if any of these projects get a start.  In acrobatic arts, there is not much work here in Japan.  While I’m a bit envious of my friends having success as performers, I realize that not having a performing contract may actually be helping me as a project producer in Tokyo – to get projects to work, you need to have a bit of an entrepreneurial spirit, and if you are having regular work as a performer, you don’t really need that.

My dad gave me his birthday gift today – he’s covering part of my credit card bill and school loans.  Extremely helpful right now as I’m running out of funds!

It is a fun life, but still so much stress…  Ah well.  I guess that this is life.  This was one of those gambles.  Back to thinking small.  Too bad.

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