Love/Hate Relationship

This long-distance relationship with The Contortionist is not working well as she’s touring through Europe.

When we see each other in person, things are fine.  When we email, things are fine.  When we text message, things are fine.  When we are alone, I am fine, but she seems to panic.

Given the situation, I really feel like we should stick to the forms of communication that work well.  My impression is that on the phone I’m not able to tell her the things she must want to hear and this experience is showing me that I need a girlfriend who is tough enough to live on her own and be independent when we are apart; to write me with good news about her accomplishments.

Do we love each other or do we hate the idea of losing each other?

I’m learning from all this how much people can change from year to year, and so the idea that someone can say that there is a ‘one’ for them just doesn’t make sense to me. Of course, I do believe that there is a ‘one’ out there, but there is no way to know who it is, or to control who it is. It just will happen that way in the end.

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