My grandmother’s funeral was this last Tuesday. Seeing the importance that my grandparents put on record keeping and history brought back my motivation to journal to pass on my history in a more tangible form to anyone who may be interested.
I got in yesterday morning after an all-night bus ride up to Montreal and wasn’t feeling up to classes so I ended up sleeping in and missing classes yesterday. Today I was just feeling kind of down and out having lost both my grandparents on my mother’s side this year so I called to take today off as well. I just wasn’t feeling up to going to school and pretending to be happy about everything.
It’s not I’m inconsolably depressed about it, it’s just that I sort of want some time to myself also. This is sort of my day to get in touch with myself again after sort of being at the funeral for my mom, reading her speech for her, seeing all my relatives – in a way it was a good experience, the funeral.
I took three of Gramma’s dog figurines, one for each of her dogs that I grew up visiting at her house: Tagel, Bo, and Sprightly. They sit next to Grampa’s pipe now. It was nice to drive out there, say goodbye to their house – the last time it will ever look like that. I looked through all their books and took some of the history books to pass on to my kids.
I‘m preparing mentally for school tomorrow but feeling very weak, inflexible, and fat. Hopefully this will pass within a week if everything goes well.