i had a beach dream once.

a man lived on an island and made his living from the sea.

(he was the only man, woman, and child on the island) everyday he went to the beach and went fishing (for fish).

the first severl hours of the dream were following this daily pilgriamage.

him travelling to where the water autistically beats itself into the powdered rock.

on day 134 of the dream, he arrived at the beach and found that the waves had stopped.

the whole of the ocean spred out before him as smooth as an indoor swimmingpool right after the lifeguards open it up in the morning. 


he took it as a sign that he was supposed to climb into a rickety canoe with some rations and see if the same thing had happened on the other side of the ocean. 

that was the rest of the dream. 

i also had a dream about a dog who barked until it died, eyes unblinking and slowly drying out as the world outside his chicken-wire enclosure died and crumbled into dust.  no beach in that one, though.-jt

Circus acrobat doing a handstand trick at the National Circus School of Montreal


Bon.  The meeting with the artistic counselor went well.  People and he were very appreciative and impressed with our efforts on the script that we were up working on last night.  The Trapezist said to the group and the counselor that we are lucky to have The Clown and me in the group.  Trampo was on my own, I played around with my bug walking on the wall stuff, The Frenchman said that he likes my trampo style because I do not do hard stuff, but I do original and stylish stuff.  That was cool to hear.  Alex was gone for ITA and the trapeze instructor has I guess quit the school, so the funny ex-student who does trapeze with Natalie is taking over at least for December.  For barre fixe I am really finding my giants again, so I am going for speed and numbers.  I want to do muscle ups on the barre more.  During this class I lost my left contact lens, which made juggling next to impossible.  In main a main I was spotting again due to my knee.  When one of the porters started screaming in the air as usual, I could not stop laughing.  Movement is always cool after I get into it, like everything else in performing arts, it really is just about performing for people.  I decided to go for the comic route tonight.  Doesn’t change that the class is a bit weird sometimes, but it makes me learn something good in it.  I like playing with the other people I present with.  I also like that we all learn from each other and incorporate it into our pieces.  I need to find some music for the new dance assignment tonight.

Graduating class of the National Circus School

Be Careful What You Say In Handstand Class

Ah well, where do I start.  I learned that an ex-girlfriend started dating one of my friends, and I ended up staying home from school for 2 days.  It did my knee well though, and Friday went pretty well.  I was embarrassed to discover that in dance I was unable to do any of the sequences, and that Martine was being very picky about the music.  I am still way behind, and still have no music.

Monday was nice, being back in jeu.  Larissa got really mad at me when I showed The Clown how to do a skill though, and she had to have one of the other Russian teachers come over and yell at me “if you want to teach the course, I will be happy to stay home.”  So I decided to not talk anymore in her class, which seems to work.  The Clown and The Dreamer had a fun time trying to get me to talk.

The Trapezist needing teachers to be all supportive and happy about her and her weight.

Being told by another two teachers that I think too much.  The Trapezist really seeming to get a vindictive thrill about it.

My disturbing dreams for movement, with the “I am I was I was I come I love’ song.  I did the dying dog dream, The Trapezist did one about her parents killing themselves over and over, another girl did one about almost being raped, and The Contortionist did one about being a bird flying around and not caring.

Byamba playing with things in the equilibre area, like sliding on the canes and throwing the water bottles to the window.

Byamba massages that hurt but feel really good.

Two extra equilibre classes this week to make up for last week.

Me being a ‘sausage’ in trampo course.

This is a lot like high school, even in the way I interact with teachers.

Acrobat juggler and clown training at the National Circus School of Montreal

Burnout and Creation

Okay, Friday:

Flexi with Russian woman was fun, but was redundant with Tuesday’s.

Dance was fine, but I had to sit out of a lot of it.

Larissa’s class was good, The Clown is really getting quite good.

Acro I just lifted weights, Trampo I just did stuff on my back with fulls, etc.

Byamba equilibre was fine, but not spectacular.

Work was work.

The Clown and I wrote most of the evaluation concept in the afternoon.


Work was hellish, but the first really productive evaluation concept meeting took place.  We all went to the Eccentricus show together and saw John Gilkey and the short clown from Dralion.  It was fun and a good show to see.


Saw the result of the stage with the director of the show on Saturday.  It was pretty good, but again with the motif of violence.  Did not seem too creative.


Slept through Jeu after a late night.

Acro I did ½ way.

Trampo was the same, but I did all the beginner crap just fine.

Fil de fer ended early because The Contortionist was not there, but we got to do stuff with juggling and jumping on the wire.  It was fun.

Did a lot of last minute work on the evaluation concept with The Clown since we need to present to the artistic counselor tomorrow, and it all went well. I presented the whole of the new first act and stuff like that, and the people seemed to like it.

The two first years who are rarely there were there today, and one of them came to The Clown and me saying that he was really not thinking of coming back, but that he wanted to be in the evaluation concept all the way.  I told him that we would work him in if we had time, but that it would be a low priority after writing the rest of the show.

A lot of people left early, but we got a fair amount of work done after them, and I’ve been spending the whole night finishing up the first half script.

The Clown and I took a sauna, and he is really pushing this idea of us doing a show together.  He was really impressed with the show I did this summer.  He said that he is learning a lot by watching me be the boss and that he is not as jealous of people who are good at things.  I told him that I was learning a lot from working with him too. 

That’s all good, I think.  Jeez.  I’ve got to sleep.


I work at Technology Review magazine and I would like to write a profile on you for our alumni section of the magazine. It has come to my attention that you have recently moved to Montreal to train at the Ecole Nationale de Cirque for three years. I think your fellow alumni would be very interested to hear how you came to this decision and what it has been like thus far. Please let me know a convenient time for a phone interview and I will give you a call.

Handstand tableau in the National Circus School of Montreal annual show

Circus Crush

Morning equilibre, not as good as last night, but what can you expect?

Did pullups with weight in preparation physique today.

Skipped trampo minor due to knee problems, and slept in sauna instead.

Talked with Alex about just doing static cradle, and he said, ‘Tanabe, understand well, it is called intro to arial, not arial minor.  It is alright.”

Did my first mount on cradle it was fun.

I have my front and back giants back on barre fixe, which is nice.

I am starting to find ways to put juggling skills together into a routine, which will be nice for busking purposes.

One of the other first years is a pain in the butt in that he really can’t take people joking about him, but will be as cruel as he wants to others.  He looks a lot like a guy on a ‘youth and alcohol’ booklet that we all had to read, but was upset when I told him that, and was pretty mean in finding something to say to me about it.   I laughed.  That’s all there is to it.  He’s getting a bad reputation for dropping partners.

Main a main was with Natalie today, and we just played around.  Learned a lot, though.

The Trapezist was all happy because her exboyfriend emailed her.  I said that she gives him a lot of power that way.  She was mad at me because I mentioned how women get emotionally affected by what other people say about their bodies, but that came up because of some things that Russian speaking equilibre student overheard about Larissa saying about his girlfriend.  The Trapezist said that she needs someone to make her feel good as a teacher.  I had to disagree.

Jinny Jacintho was subbing today.  Everyone knows I’m have a fan crush on her but I didn’t get a chance to talk with her.  I hope I get another chance.  The Clown was upset I didn’t grab this one.

Evaluation concept was interesting.  We kind of nailed down the juggling portion of the show, but I had to step into a much more directorial role.  I didn’t mind, but at the end, we all sat down and talked about the working situation.  Of course the usual suspects missed the meetings.  We decided to have non-mandatory writing meetings that would be led by The Clown and myself, and that rehearsals would be when that writing is presented to the group.  People were pretty receptive to it.

Pizza night was pretty tame, I wanted to leave early to get on with the Journal and to hopefully get some sleep.

I start to find The Dreamer cute.

I broke the dance bar with The Acrobat last Monday.  Oops.

Car packed with all the equipment needed for an acrobatic circus streetshow

Hookups and Checkouts

Alright, lets get up to date:

Injury on trampoline due to hyperextension on bad vrie-dos landing.

Evaluations are absolutely harsh!

Movement my best class?

The Contortionist being nice and flirty with me.

The Trapezist interested in her old boyfriend?

The Artist hooked up with one of the upperclass girls?

One of the first years taking a dive (‘back injury’) in main-a-main.

Me dying and taking a sick day on Friday.

One of my recreational kids doing a header on a 1 ½ front without my permission.

Hellish recreational kids!

Me getting into honors flexibility “etirement.”

Moving into my new room in the apartment.

The American leaving for the Trapezium.

Another first year acting like he will follow suit.

German wheel girl needing to leave to take care of her ill mother.

First good column-a-trois.

My first time being the top of a column-a-trois.

Longest one-handed handstand today.

The Trapezist’s record is 5 sec – the competition is on!

Continual reinjury sucks!

Evaluation concept working okay, but some of the personalities make things hard.

The group confronted one of them who had missed more meetings than he has made, “I don’t give a fuck.”

Another one has only made two meetings so far.

That’s all I can remember.  One or two more updates coming up before resuming with dailies, I think.